Dear Melana,

Dear Melana,
     This feels weird, writing myself a letter, but I a going to anyway so you don't leave this place and forget what you learned. When you get home life will begin to move at a different pace. My biggest fear is that the things you have learned here, the new convictions you feel, that they will only be seeds with weak roots that easily get swept away by the winds of life. No, I want the things you have learned here to be long lasting, and deeply rooted. I want you to continue to grow them once you are home so that the changes you make are lifelong.
     Do you remember how you felt prior to coming to Africa? You were nervous, yet you were allowing God to lead you on an amazing journey outside your comfort zone. Isn't it funny to think about that now? As I sit here sipping African tea, ants crawling all over me, and the power out, I am surprisingly comfortable. In fact I love my mornings here. What I want you to take from this is to not let fear get in the way. God can do amazing things when you let him lead you outside your comfort zone. The coolest part is many times he takes what was once uncomfortable and he makes it comfortable. That is how you grow Melana, I don't want you to ever stop growing, learning, and being challenged in your faith. Never be afraid to follow Gods lead, in fact let him take lead in every part of your life.
    I have seen you grow on this trip in many ways, but one of the biggest is boldness. I have witnesses boldness in many facets of your life. You preached the gospel to people in rural africa who had never heard about Jesus before, and you got to pray with them as they accepted him as the Lord and Savior of their lives. Imagine if you hadn't been bold?? God may put you in situations that are nervewracking but if he is leading you to be bold never be afraid to act on it. Awesome things come out of boldness in Christ!!
Proverbs 28V1 "The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as BOLD as a lion."
Be bold about the things Jesus has done in your life. Tell your story. If you can share your testimony in front of hundreds of Ugandans in rural Africa, then you can do it anywhere. On this trip you were not only bold with your faith, you were bold with your fears. The old Melana would NEVER have been bold enough to bungee jump 145 feet until completely being submerged in the Nile. Heck no!! I mean for heaven sake you can't even make it to the top of Multnomah falls!! Talk about a girl who is afraid of heights?!?! You learned to give ALL your fears to God and you know what he gave you??? Bold courage....you jumped off that platform like a pro!! Keep being bold like a lion, don't ever let fear hold you back.
     Lets face it, you are an easy person to read. Someone can tell what you are feeling by just looking at you. This isn't always a bad thing, but often times your face has "bad attitude" written all over it, and usually for small, petty, and selfish reasons. I want to change this. Philippians 2V5 "Your attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus." You know what this means Melana? Stop complaining, you have it SO good!! Take a step back and look at the reasons you are having a bad attitude, I bet you they are rooted in selfishness. Learn to live life with a smile, an attitude that reflects Jesus. Think about when you were in Africa not everything you did was fun. Like the seven hour bus rides packed with smelly people, bumps that sent you flying out of your seat, and chickens running wild. Not an ideal situation but when you took on the unpleasant with a good attitude it can drastically change your experience. Think about Victor who would fix your toilet, mop the floors, and take out the trash with such joy! Be a person who lives joyfully no matter the task. Bad attitudes not only make a poor experience for you but for everyone around you. So start smiling girl!!
     Another thing I want you to take away from this journey is patience. Melana think about the times you stayed up all night cuddling sick crying babies. It would have been easy to set them in their cribs, let them cry, and go to bed. You didn't though, you stuck it out, you were patient with them, you loved them. Think about the long bus rides, the 2 hour waits to get food, "Ugandan time" in general. Don't go back to your inpatient ways; "The internet is taking forever to load", "This line is taking too long", "How long will this traffic take???" Be patient.
     Be generous. You have been blesses with so much, yet so often you are slow to give. Be a person who gives Melana, don't store up treasures here on earth. Materials they don't last, so don't hold on to them like they do, give to the one who asks from you and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. Think about the huts you visited, how badly they wanted to give to you. In the sense of materials they were lacking, yet they were willing to cheerfully give the little they had to you. But in the sense of generosity they were prospering something you greatly need to grow in. Their is a joy in giving. Remember the smiles on the kids faces at the orphanage when you gave them bags of toys when prior they had none. Remember giving new Bibles to people and their giddyness and excitement? Remember what it was like to give, cause I tell you it is far better than selfishly spending your money and time. In 2 Corinthians 9 it talks about how God loves a cheerful giver. Melana, be a person who gives cheerfully.
     Give out of a grateful heart, because you have been so blessed. May this experience make you more grateful for the things that you have, the opportunities, and the people in your life. When you catch yourself being ungrateful remember all the things you saw here. People struggling to feed their families, kids getting water to drink from dirty ditches on the side of the road, children without clothes, sick people without the ability to seek medical care, many who long to go to school but can't afford it. Think of these things, set your view on the bigger picture. Learn to be content with what you have, and run far from the mentality of always wanting more.
    Another thing I don't want you to forget is the power of prayer. Continue to be faithful in prayer!! You saw its power; the sick be healed, the jobless find work, those walking in sin find conviction, a man pursuing witchcraft find Jesus, the alcoholic sober up. Jesus has power and prayer changes things! Pray hard!!!
     Lastly learn to love people well. Everyone receives love in different ways, and it may not be in the same way as you. Take the time to learn people well so you can love them in the best way. Think about baby Ray, you learned how to calm him down when he cried, you knew his favorite position to sleep, the face he made when he was hungry, the temperature he best liked his bottle. You learned him and thats how you loved him. Do this with people in your life, love them well!!
     This doesn't even begin to sum up the things you learned here, but I hope when you look back and read this it reminds you and encourages you in the things the Lord has been teaching you during your time here. May the seeds planted in your heart grow and grow, and may the foundation of your life always be Jesus!!!

Love

Here I am in Africa, that still seems unreal to me and I have been here for over three weeks. As I lay here curled up on my bed, cuddling with a five pound baby boy who has captured my heart, I begin to wish time could just stand still, even for a minute.
I love it here. I love that I wake up to a rooster long before my alarm clock. I love that I get to start off my day with my Bible, a cup of VIA, and a view of Lake Victoria. I love that when I go downstairs I am greeted by so many beautiful faces that are so eager to love, and be loved. I love the kisses, the laughter, the cuddles. I love that I don't miss my Iphone, or my closet full of clothes. I love all this time I have to be still and listen to the Lord. I love being fully in a moment, fully engaged in a conversation, no plan, no text that is more important than the person I am with. I love that it doesn't matter if I wear the same outfit two days in a row. I love that I am learning so much about who God is from a group of 22 babies and toddlers without them even uttering a word. I love that God is growing me and revealing areas in my faith that I am weak. Yet he shows me with such love and grace that failure doesn't mean I can't try again. With Gods love and strength he is growing me and refining me each day I am here. I love it. My heart aches each time I think about the fact that I have to leave this place I love. Soon I won't wake up to 22 kisses from these beautiful children. I know that God has a plan for me though, and I know I don't have to be in Uganda for the Lord to use me and grow me. But I do know that Uganda will forever hold a piece of my heart. Thank you all for your prayers, they definitely have made an impact! I ask that me and the kiddos continue to be in your prayers that is definitely the biggest way you can be supporting me while I am here. If you feel called to support my trip financially you still can! I still owe the church 500$ when I get home but if you want to help me in that way you can give at ajesuschurch.com under give! I love you all! Sending hugs and prayers your way!

10 days in!

      Well, I have a big bruise on my arm. I wish I was in the U.S. only so that I would be asked, "What's that bruise from?"
      Then I could say, "Oh no big deal I just got punched by an angry monkey." Thats exactly what happened and I have never been more proud of a bruise in my life.
     On a different note, this last week has been absolutely amazing. God has been teaching me so much about life, his creation, and myself.
      One of the Ugandan guys we were working alongside made a point this week that stuck with me. He talked about how no matter where we live in the world we all love and serve the same God. How he is just as much the God of Uganda as he is Portland. He is a big God though, one that in this life we can never fully understand or know. The cool thing when you travel to a new place, see a different culture, and interact with people so different from yourself, yet they are worshipping the very same God you love, is that piece by piece you begin to get a fuller picture of who God is. Wow is this true. I have learned alot this week about the Lord by just interacting with the people here.
      My nightly ritual is securely tucking my net under my mattress, curling up tight in a cozy blanket, putting on my headlamp, and then journaling about the day. It has been a great way to unwind. Sometimes in the midst of my journaling though I stop and listen to the African night. My two favotire noises are the crickets because they are so loud it almost seems fake, and the rain because it pours here to the point you can hardly hear voices over its clatter. I love it.
        I spent the last week in Arua which is much more rural then where I will be staying my last month. Most everyone lives in mud huts, and most the kids run around naked. We spent three days doing door to door evangelism. It was me, one other Ugandan guy, and an interpretter. All afternoon we would go from hut to hut telling people about Jesus. This was way outside my comfort zone but man was it awesome to see God work. He did some pretty amazing things over the course of those three days. It was amazing to get to share hope with a people who so desperately need it, and my prayer of getting to pray with someone as they accepted the Lord was answered above and beyond this week.
            As for today we left Arua and came to an AMAZING resort where we are staying the night. We went on a Safari today and it was so awesome!!! We got to see a full grown male lion with a huge mane up close and personal. The coolest part is that he was one of only two in the whole entire park......and this game park is HUGEEE! God is good.
            Well anyway I am off to bed! Tomorrow we wake up early and go on a boat safari down the Nile. I am pretty stoked! Then on Thursday I will arrive at loving hearts orphanage in Kampala where we will be for the next month. I can't wait to get to see the kiddos again.
            Love and miss you all! Thanks so much for keeping me in your prayers! Nighty night!

The View From My Window

Wow....I am in Uganda!!! This is crazy! I am SO excited to be here and can't wait to see what God does. While on the plane traveling here I was looking out my window, zoning out, observing the evening sky, but all of a sudden I felt like God was telling me to look out my window from a different angle. I sat up in my seat and looked down, this new angle revealed something beautiful, a sunset, vibrant and glorious. An incredible sight when seen from above. I was amazed, it was a vibrant red against the dark sky. As I sat and took in the beautiful sight, God began to use that sunset to teach me something.
For so long I have been looking out my window in a certain way. I have seen the "sky" but not in all that it could be, not in its full beauty. Being here in Uganda is like me sitting up and getting to see the view from a different angle, an alternate perspective, and you know what?? It's beautiful. This first day blew my away by, the culture, the welcoming hearts of the people, and by this countrys amazing beauty.
One thing that began to change my "view" today was when we visited the Loving Hearts Orphanage that I will be staying in for my last month. The kids were all under the age of three. I held a little baby boy named Steven who was so cute. All the babies were pretty calm, but defintely desperate for attention and touch. When one of the ladies who worked there brought in a bucket full of bottles though the kids began to cry and get restless. They saw their food and couldn't wait. It broke my heart when I got Steven's bottle and began to feed him because he clung to it for dear life, it was as if he was terriffied it would be taken away. I have never seen a baby drink a bottle as fast as he did, he was so hungry, and his poor stomach was disteneded showing signs that he was malnourished. After he finished his bottle (so about one minute) he began to cry and try and shake out any last drop. He wanted more, he was still hungry, but I didnt have anything to give him and it broke my heart. God is teaching me to learn to be satisfied with what I have. To not take things like the feeling of fullness for granted. I have been so blessed, and to see this sweet child not having enough food to fill him up broke me down. All I could do in that moment was pray, pray that God would somehow satisfy him in a way his world couldn't. I ask you be praying that for him too, and all the other kids here. God is good..Always. I can't wait to see what else he shows me as he continues to offer me new angles to see the world, and stretch my window. Blessing to all of you!

Ready Heart, Ready Body

The title pretty much says it all. My prayer is to leave for Uganda with a ready heart and a ready body. I want to be focused, prepared, and healthy. These last few weeks have been jammed with preparations and goodbyes. I am running errands, saying farewell to friends, and packing up a storm. Sad to say though that hasn't left much room for me to prepare in the most important of ways, mentally and spiritually. In the midst of my crazy schedule it has been hard for me to sit back and find time to pray for my trip, pray for my attitude, and pray for God to use me, and be preparing my heart for what I am going to encounter.

Today I am laying in bed sick, the very opposite of a ready body. I have been forcefully removed from my schedule and plans, to lay back, chug vitamin C, and  rest. Ironically it's actually given me a chance to process what I am about to be doing. I am so bummed that I am sick and I am praying hard that God heals me before I fly out, but it has been really good for me to have some time to prepare my heart. I know that what I am about to go do isn't some luxurious vacation, or time to relax abroad. It's going to be hard and a lot of hard work. I am excited for this amazing opportunity to serve though, and I am also excited to see how God grows me in my faith while I am there. Being away from home will definitely be an adjustment but I am SO pumped and grateful that I have the blessing of getting this experience.

As I have been reading my Bible today a few verses have stood out to  me, first is 1Peter 2V20-21 "But if you suffer for doing good this is commendable before God. To this you were CALLED, because Christ suffered for YOU, leaving you an EXAMPLE, that you should follow in HIS steps." This verse encouraged me in many ways. It reminded me that I always have the perfect example with me every step of the way, and that's Jesus. We are called to follow him, and my prayer is that as I follow in his steps he will mold me into a women who each day looks more and more like him. It hit me though that in order to be image bearers of Christ we have to go through suffering. We have to do things that are hard, scary, and uncomfortable, because thats what Jesus did for us. He gave everything for me including his life, the least I can do is live my life for him whatever that entails. I am encouraged that even though this experience will be hard it will be one that molds and shapes me to be more like Jesus.

Another verse that struck me was 2PeterV5-8 "For this reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being INEFFECTIVE and UNPRODUCTIVE in your knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ." Those words ineffective, and unproductive really hit me as I read that verse. Thats the one thing I never want; a faith that is ineffective and unproductive. I want to be a women who is constantly growing in my faith and in how I live it out, every single day for the rest of my life.

Well anyways todays been good. Though I still don't feel like I have a ready body I do feel like I have a ready heart. I have some prayer requests, and if you guys would join me in praying for these things I would greatly appreciate it.
1. That I would be healed from this cold I caught by the time of my trip
2. That God would give me opportunities to be a blessing while I am there
3. That God would use this trip to grow me in my faith and make me more like him
4. Safety/ Health/ Easy travel
5. That I would get the blessing of praying with someone as they accept Jesus into their hearts while I am there
Thanks SO much all of you for joining me in this journey! I am SO blessed. Love you All!

Following THE Leader

Two months ago I sped to my Grandma's and rushed through her front door without even a knock, "Grandma! It's Melana, I need to talk to you!" Her sweet face appeared from down the hall, always so welcoming no matter how unexpected my visit. 

"Hey honey, are you okay?" She said. Just hearing her voice began to calm me down.

"I received an email today, it was about an opportunity for me to stay in Africa longer....I don't know what to do, so I came to you."

A smile spread across her face, "Come on in, I will make you some tea, I want to hear all about it!" I followed her into the kitchen and began telling her all that was on my anxious mind.

Right before I rushed to her house I had received an email, opening the door for me to stay in Africa another month after my original trip. One of the girls from my team was staying and they were looking for someone to join her...the whole safety in numbers thing. I felt like my heart stopped for a second when I read the email….."was this my answer?" 
The day prior I had an amazing prayer time, pouring my heart out to the Lord. I asked him that this be a year of growth, and that he would develop in me a faith that was bold. One that was willing to follow him even when he led me outside of my comfort zone. I prayed that he would open doors for me to get to tell people about him, and that I would get the blessing of praying with someone as they accepted Jesus into their life. I asked that this year be one of transformation. “I am all yours” I prayed, opening the door to my heart for Jesus to come in, and mold me into the women he wants me to be. I prayed, I prayed because I know that prayers change things, that they aren’t just empty words that go unheard. No, prayers are heard by a living, breathing, attentive God who longs for his children to come to him. He is a God that acts!

When I read the email, I was scared, he had swung a door wide open, all I had to do was walk through. That was the scary part…It’s one thing to ask God to take you out of your comfort zone, it’s another to follow him there. As I shared with my Grandma all my concerns about potentially agreeing to the trip she sat and listened attentively as I shared; “What about school? I wouldn’t be able to take classes. I was going to buy a car and hopefully move out…but if I spend my money on the trip I wont be able to afford that! Is this something I can handle?....I have never done anything like this before…don’t you think God would want to use someone a little more experienced?” My mind was reeling with doubts, but at the same time I knew exactly what I was being asked to do, I was just having a hard time letting go of all my “priorities” here at home.

After a long vent session, Grandma and I studied a list of pros and cons that she had jotted down during my rant. “What do you think?” She asked.

“I think I need to go” I said nervously, “but I am scared….”

We prayed together that day. Prayed that God would give me the courage to say yes, to follow, to drop all I had planned here in the states and to listen even when it scared me to my core. You know what? God answered that prayer. I sent out the email saying “count me in” the very next week. It’s not like the fear all went away in a second, in fact there are still times I get nervous, those same questions and doubts will enter my mind, but God has been teaching me that I don’t need to be “experienced” for him to use me. In fact God loves to use the typical to do the incredible. The Lord is faithful, and I am so thankful for this sense of peace he has been instilling in me since I made the decision to stay. In fact I am getting pretty excited! In two weeks I board a plane to Uganda, I have no idea what’s in store, but I am choosing to take this step of faith. So here I go…following the Lord as he takes me by the hand, and leads me far outside my comfort zone!