Ready Heart, Ready Body

The title pretty much says it all. My prayer is to leave for Uganda with a ready heart and a ready body. I want to be focused, prepared, and healthy. These last few weeks have been jammed with preparations and goodbyes. I am running errands, saying farewell to friends, and packing up a storm. Sad to say though that hasn't left much room for me to prepare in the most important of ways, mentally and spiritually. In the midst of my crazy schedule it has been hard for me to sit back and find time to pray for my trip, pray for my attitude, and pray for God to use me, and be preparing my heart for what I am going to encounter.

Today I am laying in bed sick, the very opposite of a ready body. I have been forcefully removed from my schedule and plans, to lay back, chug vitamin C, and  rest. Ironically it's actually given me a chance to process what I am about to be doing. I am so bummed that I am sick and I am praying hard that God heals me before I fly out, but it has been really good for me to have some time to prepare my heart. I know that what I am about to go do isn't some luxurious vacation, or time to relax abroad. It's going to be hard and a lot of hard work. I am excited for this amazing opportunity to serve though, and I am also excited to see how God grows me in my faith while I am there. Being away from home will definitely be an adjustment but I am SO pumped and grateful that I have the blessing of getting this experience.

As I have been reading my Bible today a few verses have stood out to  me, first is 1Peter 2V20-21 "But if you suffer for doing good this is commendable before God. To this you were CALLED, because Christ suffered for YOU, leaving you an EXAMPLE, that you should follow in HIS steps." This verse encouraged me in many ways. It reminded me that I always have the perfect example with me every step of the way, and that's Jesus. We are called to follow him, and my prayer is that as I follow in his steps he will mold me into a women who each day looks more and more like him. It hit me though that in order to be image bearers of Christ we have to go through suffering. We have to do things that are hard, scary, and uncomfortable, because thats what Jesus did for us. He gave everything for me including his life, the least I can do is live my life for him whatever that entails. I am encouraged that even though this experience will be hard it will be one that molds and shapes me to be more like Jesus.

Another verse that struck me was 2PeterV5-8 "For this reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being INEFFECTIVE and UNPRODUCTIVE in your knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ." Those words ineffective, and unproductive really hit me as I read that verse. Thats the one thing I never want; a faith that is ineffective and unproductive. I want to be a women who is constantly growing in my faith and in how I live it out, every single day for the rest of my life.

Well anyways todays been good. Though I still don't feel like I have a ready body I do feel like I have a ready heart. I have some prayer requests, and if you guys would join me in praying for these things I would greatly appreciate it.
1. That I would be healed from this cold I caught by the time of my trip
2. That God would give me opportunities to be a blessing while I am there
3. That God would use this trip to grow me in my faith and make me more like him
4. Safety/ Health/ Easy travel
5. That I would get the blessing of praying with someone as they accept Jesus into their hearts while I am there
Thanks SO much all of you for joining me in this journey! I am SO blessed. Love you All!

Following THE Leader

Two months ago I sped to my Grandma's and rushed through her front door without even a knock, "Grandma! It's Melana, I need to talk to you!" Her sweet face appeared from down the hall, always so welcoming no matter how unexpected my visit. 

"Hey honey, are you okay?" She said. Just hearing her voice began to calm me down.

"I received an email today, it was about an opportunity for me to stay in Africa longer....I don't know what to do, so I came to you."

A smile spread across her face, "Come on in, I will make you some tea, I want to hear all about it!" I followed her into the kitchen and began telling her all that was on my anxious mind.

Right before I rushed to her house I had received an email, opening the door for me to stay in Africa another month after my original trip. One of the girls from my team was staying and they were looking for someone to join her...the whole safety in numbers thing. I felt like my heart stopped for a second when I read the email….."was this my answer?" 
The day prior I had an amazing prayer time, pouring my heart out to the Lord. I asked him that this be a year of growth, and that he would develop in me a faith that was bold. One that was willing to follow him even when he led me outside of my comfort zone. I prayed that he would open doors for me to get to tell people about him, and that I would get the blessing of praying with someone as they accepted Jesus into their life. I asked that this year be one of transformation. “I am all yours” I prayed, opening the door to my heart for Jesus to come in, and mold me into the women he wants me to be. I prayed, I prayed because I know that prayers change things, that they aren’t just empty words that go unheard. No, prayers are heard by a living, breathing, attentive God who longs for his children to come to him. He is a God that acts!

When I read the email, I was scared, he had swung a door wide open, all I had to do was walk through. That was the scary part…It’s one thing to ask God to take you out of your comfort zone, it’s another to follow him there. As I shared with my Grandma all my concerns about potentially agreeing to the trip she sat and listened attentively as I shared; “What about school? I wouldn’t be able to take classes. I was going to buy a car and hopefully move out…but if I spend my money on the trip I wont be able to afford that! Is this something I can handle?....I have never done anything like this before…don’t you think God would want to use someone a little more experienced?” My mind was reeling with doubts, but at the same time I knew exactly what I was being asked to do, I was just having a hard time letting go of all my “priorities” here at home.

After a long vent session, Grandma and I studied a list of pros and cons that she had jotted down during my rant. “What do you think?” She asked.

“I think I need to go” I said nervously, “but I am scared….”

We prayed together that day. Prayed that God would give me the courage to say yes, to follow, to drop all I had planned here in the states and to listen even when it scared me to my core. You know what? God answered that prayer. I sent out the email saying “count me in” the very next week. It’s not like the fear all went away in a second, in fact there are still times I get nervous, those same questions and doubts will enter my mind, but God has been teaching me that I don’t need to be “experienced” for him to use me. In fact God loves to use the typical to do the incredible. The Lord is faithful, and I am so thankful for this sense of peace he has been instilling in me since I made the decision to stay. In fact I am getting pretty excited! In two weeks I board a plane to Uganda, I have no idea what’s in store, but I am choosing to take this step of faith. So here I go…following the Lord as he takes me by the hand, and leads me far outside my comfort zone!