Following THE Leader

Two months ago I sped to my Grandma's and rushed through her front door without even a knock, "Grandma! It's Melana, I need to talk to you!" Her sweet face appeared from down the hall, always so welcoming no matter how unexpected my visit. 

"Hey honey, are you okay?" She said. Just hearing her voice began to calm me down.

"I received an email today, it was about an opportunity for me to stay in Africa longer....I don't know what to do, so I came to you."

A smile spread across her face, "Come on in, I will make you some tea, I want to hear all about it!" I followed her into the kitchen and began telling her all that was on my anxious mind.

Right before I rushed to her house I had received an email, opening the door for me to stay in Africa another month after my original trip. One of the girls from my team was staying and they were looking for someone to join her...the whole safety in numbers thing. I felt like my heart stopped for a second when I read the email….."was this my answer?" 
The day prior I had an amazing prayer time, pouring my heart out to the Lord. I asked him that this be a year of growth, and that he would develop in me a faith that was bold. One that was willing to follow him even when he led me outside of my comfort zone. I prayed that he would open doors for me to get to tell people about him, and that I would get the blessing of praying with someone as they accepted Jesus into their life. I asked that this year be one of transformation. “I am all yours” I prayed, opening the door to my heart for Jesus to come in, and mold me into the women he wants me to be. I prayed, I prayed because I know that prayers change things, that they aren’t just empty words that go unheard. No, prayers are heard by a living, breathing, attentive God who longs for his children to come to him. He is a God that acts!

When I read the email, I was scared, he had swung a door wide open, all I had to do was walk through. That was the scary part…It’s one thing to ask God to take you out of your comfort zone, it’s another to follow him there. As I shared with my Grandma all my concerns about potentially agreeing to the trip she sat and listened attentively as I shared; “What about school? I wouldn’t be able to take classes. I was going to buy a car and hopefully move out…but if I spend my money on the trip I wont be able to afford that! Is this something I can handle?....I have never done anything like this before…don’t you think God would want to use someone a little more experienced?” My mind was reeling with doubts, but at the same time I knew exactly what I was being asked to do, I was just having a hard time letting go of all my “priorities” here at home.

After a long vent session, Grandma and I studied a list of pros and cons that she had jotted down during my rant. “What do you think?” She asked.

“I think I need to go” I said nervously, “but I am scared….”

We prayed together that day. Prayed that God would give me the courage to say yes, to follow, to drop all I had planned here in the states and to listen even when it scared me to my core. You know what? God answered that prayer. I sent out the email saying “count me in” the very next week. It’s not like the fear all went away in a second, in fact there are still times I get nervous, those same questions and doubts will enter my mind, but God has been teaching me that I don’t need to be “experienced” for him to use me. In fact God loves to use the typical to do the incredible. The Lord is faithful, and I am so thankful for this sense of peace he has been instilling in me since I made the decision to stay. In fact I am getting pretty excited! In two weeks I board a plane to Uganda, I have no idea what’s in store, but I am choosing to take this step of faith. So here I go…following the Lord as he takes me by the hand, and leads me far outside my comfort zone!