Two
months ago I sped to my Grandma's and rushed through her front door without
even a knock, "Grandma! It's Melana, I need to talk to you!" Her
sweet face appeared from down the hall, always so welcoming no matter how
unexpected my visit.
"Hey
honey, are you okay?" She said. Just hearing her voice began to calm me
down.
"I
received an email today, it was about an opportunity for me to stay in Africa
longer....I don't know what to do, so I came to you."
A
smile spread across her face, "Come on in, I will make you some tea, I
want to hear all about it!" I followed her into the kitchen and began
telling her all that was on my anxious mind.
Right
before I rushed to her house I had received an email, opening the door for me
to stay in Africa another month after my original trip. One of the girls from
my team was staying and they were looking for someone to join her...the whole
safety in numbers thing. I felt like my heart stopped for a second when I read
the email….."was this my answer?"
The day prior I had an amazing prayer time, pouring my heart out to the Lord. I asked him that this be a year of growth, and that he would develop in me a faith that was bold. One that was willing to follow him even when he led me outside of my comfort zone. I prayed that he would open doors for me to get to tell people about him, and that I would get the blessing of praying with someone as they accepted Jesus into their life. I asked that this year be one of transformation. “I am all yours” I prayed, opening the door to my heart for Jesus to come in, and mold me into the women he wants me to be. I prayed, I prayed because I know that prayers change things, that they aren’t just empty words that go unheard. No, prayers are heard by a living, breathing, attentive God who longs for his children to come to him. He is a God that acts!
The day prior I had an amazing prayer time, pouring my heart out to the Lord. I asked him that this be a year of growth, and that he would develop in me a faith that was bold. One that was willing to follow him even when he led me outside of my comfort zone. I prayed that he would open doors for me to get to tell people about him, and that I would get the blessing of praying with someone as they accepted Jesus into their life. I asked that this year be one of transformation. “I am all yours” I prayed, opening the door to my heart for Jesus to come in, and mold me into the women he wants me to be. I prayed, I prayed because I know that prayers change things, that they aren’t just empty words that go unheard. No, prayers are heard by a living, breathing, attentive God who longs for his children to come to him. He is a God that acts!
When
I read the email, I was scared, he had swung a door wide open, all I had to do
was walk through. That was the scary part…It’s one thing to ask God to take you
out of your comfort zone, it’s another to follow him there. As I shared with my Grandma
all my concerns about potentially agreeing to the trip she sat and listened
attentively as I shared; “What about school? I wouldn’t be able to take classes. I was
going to buy a car and hopefully move out…but if I spend my money on the trip I
wont be able to afford that! Is this something I can handle?....I have never
done anything like this before…don’t you think God would want to use someone a
little more experienced?” My mind was reeling with doubts, but at the same time
I knew exactly what I was being asked to do, I was just having a hard time
letting go of all my “priorities” here at home.
After a long vent session, Grandma and I studied a list of pros and cons that she had jotted down during my rant. “What do you think?” She asked.
“I think I need to go” I said nervously, “but I am scared….”
After a long vent session, Grandma and I studied a list of pros and cons that she had jotted down during my rant. “What do you think?” She asked.
“I think I need to go” I said nervously, “but I am scared….”
We
prayed together that day. Prayed that God would give me the courage to say yes,
to follow, to drop all I had planned here in the states and to listen even when
it scared me to my core. You know what? God answered that prayer. I sent out
the email saying “count me in” the very next week. It’s not like the fear all
went away in a second, in fact there are still times I get nervous, those same
questions and doubts will enter my mind, but God has been teaching me that I
don’t need to be “experienced” for him to use me. In fact God loves to use the
typical to do the incredible. The Lord is faithful, and I am so thankful for
this sense of peace he has been instilling in me since I made the decision to
stay. In fact I am getting pretty excited! In two weeks I board a plane to Uganda,
I have no idea what’s in store, but I am choosing to take this step of faith.
So here I go…following the Lord as he takes me by the hand, and leads me far outside my comfort zone!
I am SO proud of you for listening to God's call and stepping out in faith! I can't wait to hear some of the stories you will tell as you step out of your comfort zone and into God's plan for you!
ReplyDeleteMelana I am SO excited to read this as you venture off to Africa! :-) I'm excited to hear and read all that God is teaching you while using you to help others! Love you girl and praying for you! P.S. this is beautifully written =]
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